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pack your bags and find the door
it's a sad bad case of I.D. Fraud
you're not you any more
and I'm not me any more
a suprising case of ID fraud

inside the plastic the same old name
the same old picture, but something's changed
you're not you any more
and we're not we any more
sad lonely case of I.D. fraud

they're laminated, they don't tell lies
unless you're really smart or a foreign spy
plus proves your legal, so step right up
drink a little water from this poisoned cup

they're good for clubs, and they work in shops
might get you outta trouble if you meet the cops
what's does the future have in store
what on earth were we born for
alarming figures, for I.D. fraud

now I don't want to shout about it
but there's no point leaving home without it
if you're on a plane or in a car
they want to know just who you are

I.D., therefore I am, said a man called Sartre
but he got exist-mental, when later he was carded
essential lamination, to locate our liberty
exhibit A, tragic case, in just how free is free

so put on your clothes and find the door
then aliens arrive on a distant shore
give us your masses, your huddled poor
but you're not you any more
the case of ID fraud

i wonder if like me you ever find yourself
blinking and thinking like someone else
you're not you any more
i'm not me any more
a warm collective case of ID fraud

show it to the doorman and lower your eyes
cos everyone's wearing the same disguise
What on this earth are we born for?
a name and a number and not much more
a most regular lower case of ID fraud

use an initial, to stick out from the rest
take pic after pic until you look your best
that's not me,-- I look a mess!
smile at the camera, until you pass the test
willing victim blushing at ID theft

find a little place in a big old crowd
rebel just as much as they'll allow
but you're not you any more
you're not true any more
a slightly tragic case of ID fraud

you tried to talk to you, but you'd already left
i put my arms around me I was so bereft
how the hell did we get into this mess
someone not me knows but we must confess
it's the world's worse case of I.D. theft

i'll tell you what I think, I'll get it off my chest
I think that there's a man sitting at a desk
he's taken lots of us and he wants some more
runs a big business called I.D. fraud

inside the plastic, the same old name
the same old picture, but something's changed
so pack your bags and find the door
aliens arrive on a distant shore
take a big step towards being free
show 'em your card and say, That's not me!

If you're a public servant or a private slave
or if you're just like me and you need a wage
show it to your boss and you might get paid
get a fake one if you're underage
keep it by your genitals unto your grave

I told you what happened and you just looked bored
As if I was sick and you'd been cured
Put on your clothes and find the door
you're not welcome here no more
You've a terminal case of ID fraud

I put a 'missing-person' sign outside my house
attached early pictures of my brains and mouth
(i would have used my dick but it had headed south)
no-one called, then called again, you guess the rest
I was just another victim of ID theft.

Now I don't want to shout about it
But there's no point leaving home without it
Most everyone tries to find themselves
by walking around as someone else
show it to the doorman and lower your eyes
cos everyone's wearing the same disguise
yet for every check on plane or car
they still don't know just who we are
they can't even guess at who we are
cameras pointing at a different star
cameras pointing at a distant star

now I don't want to shout about it
but there's no point leaving home without it
take a big step towards being free
show 'em your card and say "That's not me!"

And if you think I'm full of shit
It just means you've got used to it.



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